Earlier on today, I had a moment when I didn't recognise myself. I went to the work bathroom and stared in the mirror and wondered who this (beautiful yet) unfamiliar woman was that stood before me. The event that had triggered this confusing, life altering moment had occurred 5 minutes prior. A colleague came to my desk and presented me with a choice, to pick from a tub of Celebrations or a tub of Quality Street. I said no. TO BOTH. As this foreign word escaped my lips, I felt myself start to panic and rushed outside to get some air. There were only two feasible explanations for this uncharacteristic response to chocolate.
1. I had been visited by aliens during my sleep, who had switched my brain but irritatingly left my thighs in tact.
OR
2. I was finally full.
Luckily, this panic was short lived as I found myself comfort eating my way through the tub of celebrations.
But in all seriousness. The woman ending 2014 is not the same one that started it. I have been through some character building experiences this year and not only did this test me, but it tested the frenemies I had in my life. There's nothing like going through some real crap to sort the fake friends and fair weather people from the ride or die ones. There are some people who have insisted on sticking by me even when I've pushed them away. And there are some people who have stepped up when I didn't even expect it. I also discovered a new found appreciation for my family. People always say you can't pick your family, and this is true. But if I was given the chance,I wouldn't change a thing. Well...I would throw some billions into the mix but who wouldn't!?
My friend Emma is the queen of social media but even she gets angry around New Years because she can't stand the 'New Year New Me' statuses. New year is a great time to change things and make a stand but at the end of the day, it is just another day. You can try to change the things you don't like at any time. There are steps I'm going to and have been taking but I am not inventing a new me. I am refining the current me. I am discovering who I am and I am striving for a better me all the time. I don't need a new me because I am awesome. And as unbelievable as it may be that there could be some room for improvement (since I am practically perfect in every way), I am doing my best to work on that.
Here are some targets that I have set for myself and have already been working towards. Maybe some of these will inspire you.
- Find a hairdresser that knows how to tell time, and reply to text messages/calls/emails/tweets/carrier pigeons/blimp messages.
- Try one new thing every month. Whether it's a new activity, gym class or food. Chances are, it will be food so if you see me gaining weight, know that I am achieving my goals.
- Grow a plant or keep a ready grown one alive for a month (I have never made it past a week).
- Stop focussing on what I don't have or who isn't in my life and appreciate what I do have and the people who are in my life
- Learn how to speak a language fluently. I'll start with English innit!
- Find Michael Fassebender/Idris Elba/Charlie Hunnam/Morris Chesnut and make him/them fall in love with me.
- Don't get arrested for stalking the aforementioned beauties.
- Love myself like Kanye loves Kanye
- Stop being so obviously amazing. It makes other people uncomfortable
- Stop taking responsibility for other people's inadequacies and insecurities
- Help mum overcome her addiction to Candy Crush
- Start blocking anyone who sends Candy Crush invites (digital terrorism will not be tolerated).
- Unfriend people who use Time hop (it really wasn't all that interesting the first time round).
- Stop dating models
- Find a way to rid the world of peas, mushrooms and raisins.
- Yell 'there's something wrong with the left phalange' the next time I'm on a plane (or walk around the airport shouting 'I'm going to Yemen').
- Learn how to play the guitar, if I can find it under the 2 years worth of accumulated dust.
- Realise that #nofilter should not apply to my brain and my mouth. Think before you speak is a saying for a reason.
- Get better at prioritising how I spend my money. That dress won't look so cute if I'm homeless.
- Find a rich dying old man with no family and friends and inherit his millions.
- Figure out how to become Hit Girl from Kick Ass
- Spend as much (if not more) time exercising my mind as I do exercising my body.
- Find my doppelgänger. Then kill her. There's only room for one of us.
HAPPY NEW YEAR BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! May your next year be even better than the last :-) x