Although it has been established that Sigmund Freud was a known coke fiend, there is still a good reason for his fame.One of the concepts that I have come to agree with, is penis envy. I for sure suffer from this. Not in the sense that I would compete with my mum for attention from the patriarch. Just that I wish I was a man.
My brother and my work colleagues will have heard me say that I feel wasted in a female body. There are some things I feel I would do better if I was a man. Such as manage my emotions. I don't like to stereotype, so I will base my views on the men who are and have been in my life.
My brothers have a very logical approach to issues.
- If there is a problem, you fix it.
- If it can't be fixed, you build a bridge and get over it.
However, some of females I know (myself included) will:
- Talk about the problem (so this is what he did yeah...).
- Talk about all the reasons why it is a problem (and I knew he was going to do it because...).
- Focus on all the reasons why it will be difficult to solve (but what if he doesn't stick to it...)
- Talk about the problem some more (I'm just really upset that he did this...).
- Talk to more people about the problem if someone tries to problem solve too early (so anyway, Nadia and I aren't speaking now because she took his side...)
- Eventually fix the problem (Just doing a status update to let you know that we're fine now).
- Remind others about the problem you solved (I know what you're going through, me and [insert name here] had the exact. same. thing!).
- Remind the person (who caused the problem) of the problem (This is exactly like the time you...)
You see! Even in trying to make my point, I made my point.
http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/feb/20/britain-male-suicide-rate-tragedy-failure
I remember being surprised at the amount of tears on the football pitch during the World Cup. Particularly during the Brazil V. Germany game. I have never seen so many grown men crying, and received laughter when I stated that losing a football match is the only time it seems acceptable for men to cry in public.
One of the things that made me consider life for our friends with phalluses is the current celebrity nude hacking scandal. Famous females are having their lady lumps uploaded online. But so far the men have gone unscathed.
I have enough friends that have received Richard pics (think about it) without asking, to know that there are probably loads of them floating around in cyber space. Yet it is the women who are being exposed.
In fact, Emma Watson attended a UN conference where she spoke about being a victim of sexualisation. She was promoting the HeforShe campaign, where she asks for men to speak out on gender equality. One of the responses to her speech was a threat to expose her for the 'whore she really is' by leaking nude photos of her.
At the gym today, I overheard a regular talking about her quest to lose weight. I've nicknamed this member 'the fat anorexic'. Despite being one of the most slender women in the class (and the whole gym), she is keen to get even smaller. She had weighed herself today, and as she attributed a slight increase on the scales to a change in hairstyle, it got me thinking. I never weigh myself any more, following an obsession with numbers that left me only able to communicate in binary code. But I remember all the excuses I would try and make if the scales didn't meet my expectations. I would blame an increase on the underwire of my bra, or the extra fabric if I was wearing full length trousers instead of my usual capri pants. I even considered buying a spirit level to make sure that the floor underneath the scales was as even as could be.
As I write this post, I realise that I can't blame this type of thinking on men, not that I was trying to. I think women can be our own worst enemies. Almost every woman I know wants to be skinny or skinnier, yet all the men I know prefer a woman with something to hold on to.
When I was on my weight loss plan, I had a diet buddy and we would talk about moving in together. When we spoke about it, we joked that we would only need to rent a cupboard underneath the stairs because we would be so skinny that any more space would be wasted. My mantra throughout the diet was nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
However, Armani recently came under fire at Milan's Fashion week for using 'worringly thin' models. No wonder we are so critical about our bodies. We're damned if we do and damned if we don't.
I find myself straddling a line between trying to be athletic but without having too muscular of a physique. My mother often tells me and my sister to be mindful when exercising, to ensure that we don't end up looking like drag queens when we put on a dress. This became all too true for me after putting on a denim shirt that I had bought from Primarni. As I did the buttons up, I felt the material around my biceps rip. I had become the female incredible hulk.
Again I find myself talking about body image and weight. This wasn't my intention when I started this post, but it seems to be the most important thing to a lot of people. Everything comes back to appearance. And that's not me being shallow, it's just reality. How many times are we told that first impressions are everything? Since we rarely meet people in total darkness, clearly our physicality is a deciding factor.
Make no mistake, I'm not saying it's easy for men. On a Friday night, my gym is filled with men doing last minute sit ups and press ups before hitting the clubs. (Let's skirt over the fact that I am sad enough to know what the gym looks like on a Friday evening). My brother has often complained about the lack of variety there is for men in terms of work wear. His combinations usually consist of:
- a shirt
- a shirt with a tie
- a jumper
- a shirt with a jumper and no tie
- a shirt with a tie and a jumper
He is (of course) wearing trousers on his bottom half. My twin laments about the difference in clothing prices between men and women. I often come out with an entire outfit from Primark or H&M for £30 (I am frugal, not cheap). This amount usually just about buys him a T-shirt. I have been offered price reductions on account of my anatomy and my brother usually pays double because of his.