We were talking about the word and how people have so many takes on it. A mutual friend turned and informed us that 'facety' is for black people who can't say the word feisty'. She wasn't racist, she is black herself. Although she may have been confused since she was clearly able to pronounce the word 'feisty'.
I disagreed with this brief elocution lesson. To me, facety means rude which is a bad thing. Whereas feisty means sassy, which can be seen as a good thing.
'Did you mean: Feisty?'.
Well look who's FACEty now!!! No google. I didn't. If that's what I meant, then I would have typed it. Smart ass!
I've become so dependent on autocorrect that I don't even bother finishing words when I type them, assuming that my phone will complete it for me. So I apologise to all those people who received text messages from me made up entirely of random letters and spacing.
But autocorrect is a double edged sword. I find it often causes as many problems as it tries to correct. It is so eager to fulfill it's purpose that it autocorrects even when it's not necessary.
As an Iphone user I often ended up shouting at my phone, which has decided to take on a parental role. In that, it does nothing but correct me. A frequent irritation is when it changes the word 'do' to 'so'. SO Iphone, why are you SO obsessed with those two letters?! It's exactly like a parent, never letting me DO anything I want to.
My biggest frustration is whenever I type my name. I get red squiggly lines underneath it every time but always 'no suggestions'. Then why highlight it in the first place hmm?! EVERYONE, THERE IS A PROBLEM BUT WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX IT. How incredibly useful :-/.
My name is butchered on a daily basis. I remember being at school and cringing when I saw a substitute teacher come in. I would wait with bated breath to see which version of my name I would hear that day.
My name (Ngozi) is pronounced - 'In-goz-ee'
At some point during primary school, it got turned into 'Go-zee'. It was easier to go along with it than try to correct people. Which usually went like this:
Me: In-goz-ee
Them: N-goooo-zee
Me: No, in-goz-ee
Them: That's what I said, Na.Go.zee
Me: Erm, close but not quite.
Them: We're saying the exact same thing. Nuh-go-zee
Despite me accepting this mispronunciation of my name, some people felt the need to remix it even further. Some alternatives versions and responses to my name have been:
- Na-zog-ee
- So what's your first name?
- Na-na-na-*hysterical laughter*
- Come again?
- In-Gobby (some clever people did this on purpose)
- Oh, bless you! Do you need a tissue?
- N
- What's that when it's at home?
- Gavin (she was very old and on the telephone, before you start spreading rumours that I look like a man)
I am regularly applauded on my grasp of English and my 'slight accent' despite the fact that English is the only language I speak fluently.
Not only is my name difficult for some to pronounce, it's also hard to spell. I have often joked about changing my name to 'Jane Smith' via deed poll. I haven't even gotten started on my surname, which my friends of over a decade still struggle to say and write down. At times, I have considered getting married for the sole purpose of having a new name but very little goes well with 'Ngozi'.
An ex-friend (you'll see why in a second) told me that my name looked like someone had headbutted a keyboard. *Waits for laughter to die down*. But in actual fact, every name/word is just a series of letters that someone has written/typed. What makes one sequence more acceptable than another? (I know it's culture, Einstein! I'm trying to be profound). We don't know how to speak or write when we are born. So at some point, every name is foreign to us.
These days, I'll answer to any name. Preferrably Beyonce's. Which would probably only happen if she permanently pulled this face: