'You're right'
said the twinlet as he confessed to over sleeping just as I had predicted he would. 'But FIFA came out at midnight so I had to stay up and play it'
I have seen grown men sit in front of a tv and play games for hours on end. Stopping only when the commode underneath them was full.
I do quite like to play video games from time to time. I was brilliant at most fighting games, soul caliber, dead or alive and tekken in particular. I was also the only family member to complete crash bandicoot.
We didn't have games consoles on my house when I was younger. I remember looking at my friends N64s and Sega's with pure envy. I even stole a game from Woolworth's once just so I wouldn't have to lie when someone asked me if I had the latest sonic game. Thankfully, they were always so engrossed in playing the game that they never asked a follow up question otherwise my plan would have been foiled.
I used to love playing medal of honour and call of duty. But only the bits where I had to hunt down and kill the other player first.
Sadly, following a traumatic experience, I no longer play on games consoles. One day, my twin forced me to play Call of Duty for six hours, the proper game where we had to run around together and complete missions. My brother proceeded to complete every mission on his own, leaving me wandering around my virtual world like a loner. He refused to tell me where to find him in the game, insisting that I should learn how to navigate myself. This went on for over an hour until I could no longer see the screen through my tears.
This happened over 5 years ago and I have never played with him since. I only picked up a controller again for the first time earlier this year as part of exposure therapy. But it triggered my PTSD so I had to stop.
I've never really been good at games but mostly because I prefer to make up my own rules. I remember playing scrabble as a child and emptying out the bag of letters so I could choose the best ones. With operation - I thought the aim was to light up the bulb the most. In Monopoly, I felt like a badass everytime I landed myself in jail.
Every so often, the girls would be a sport and play football with the boys. Really, it should have just been called annihilation. The boys would always give us a head start of about 10 goals, knowing that within 10 seconds, they would have at least equalized. Every game ended with about 2 million - 10. The only time the girls seemed able to score a goal, it was in the wrong post. And we played dirty. We kicked shins, we pulled jumpers, we clung to legs and the most wily of us flirted. But to no avail. We didn't mind too much. Netball was our thing. Until they introduced mixed teams. The boys never let us have anything to ourselves!
Despite my gentle and generous nature, I must admit, I'm a sore loser. I'm not even that competitive a person, I just hate losing. Hate it to the point of wanting to physically hurt my opponent.
An ex took me indoor go-karting for my birthday, and despite that fact that he had no license, and I had been driving for 6 years, he beat me. He drove with complete abandon and managed to come second in the first round and first place in the second. I, on the other hand, slowed down at the corners, ensuring that I wasn't in the way of other drivers. I checked over my shoulders before switching lanes, lamenting that it would be quicker if there were side mirrors on the car. Rather than smash into other drivers, I would calmly give way. The result - I came last in two rounds. I'd love to say that it was only the two of us, but I was last out of a group of at least 8 people. By some miracle (more likely an error) I was recorded as the fastest driver in the third round and came first place. Needless to say, the score sheet has been framed and hung in my bedroom. It's funny that I was way more careful on an indoor amateur track than I ever am outside on the road.
I really enjoy going bowling, but only if I can use the barriers. It's so frustrating when people tell me that they are for children because they're really not. They're for the professional bounce bowlers like myself. With the barriers up, I know how to angle my throw just right so the ball bounces against the barrier about 2/3rds of the way down and slowly redirects itself straight down the middle. #strike. Don't even get me started on those sticklers that make a point of marking any accidental crossing of feet over the line, when it's not automatically picked up. I can't help that I'm visually impaired! And why are the lines so thin anyway, its like they want to be stepped on!
Funnily enough, I'm actually pretty good at poker, especially Texas hold 'em. Unfortunately, I usually play with fellow broke people so I only win match sticks or poker chips that I can't cash in for real money.
I also, usually play with people that have never played it before. So you go through the annoying ritual of trying to find enough people to play to make it worthwhile. Then you have to explain all the rules to everyone, and they all claim they understand. Until someone has to take the first turn and quickly asks 'so how does this work again?'. So an hour later, you're still only on the second person's turn which took so long that the imbeciles you're playing with have forgotten the rules once again. And because each turn involves the same annoying ritual, by hour 5, everyone has only just about had their first turn and most people are bored and have stopped paying attention. Meaning that you will have to explain how it works to at least one more person again at some point. Usually, all the newbies fold at one point, leaving the original two who knew how to play and would have finished the poker game 7 hours ago if they hadn't tried to include everyone in the first place. Or, you get the newbie who paid no attention to the instructions and usually made everyone wait whilst they took umpteen toilet breaks, win with a straight flush. Luckily, the newbie doesn't know what he's got so I look at him with pity as I tell him my one of a kind hand trumps his and make it rain with his matchsticks.
Having finished this post, I honestly can't think of one reason why no one wants to play games with me.