There are some conversations that are forever imprinted on my mind (usually ones that can be used for blackmail) but there are other things that I forget so quickly that it makes me feel like my brain is a sieve. I forget faces until they are back in front of me. I had an ex that I had facetime because I could never remember his face. Every time we went on a date, it was like a surprise.
A while back, I was talking to a friend about swimming and cycling. I am unable to do either, or at least do either well. Which is weird because I could do both when I was a child. People always say that you never forget how to ride a bike or how to swim. I have decided to test both theories and prove them incorrect.
Nyssa tried to teach me how to ride a bike again last year. She actually ran along side me like a parent as I screamed my way down the street. I found myself paralysed with fear at that thought of falling, even though it was hardly likely that I would even hurt myself from such a short height. I decided to purchase a bike on eBay to help conquer my fears. After replacing the punctured front tyre, the rear wheel decided to give up the ghost before I'd even sat on it. In the year it has taken me to get round to replacing the tyre, my bike has turned into a wet pile of rust. Good thing I have a driving license and a car.
I recently decided to try swimming again, which I was surprised to find that I could actually do it. But the breathing is what let me down. Despite my mirror reflection, I'm not actually a whale so I'm not sure why I thought could swallow gallons of water and be okay. As I don't have a blow hole, I just ended up choking and gasping for breath for about 30 minutes. Once I had convinced the lifeguards that I wasn't drowning, I parked myself in the jacuzzi which came up to the safe height of my shoulders. Clearly forgetting that I went to the gym to exercise.
As I was mixing it up in the kitchen, I decided to catch up on Made in Chelsea. A current plot line is that one of the female characters may have cheated on her boyfriend but can't remember. There was a similar storyline last year with a guy who managed to cheat on his girlfriend four times before being struck with temporary amnesia after each encounter.
At times I have a pretty poor memory (although I think it's more from lack of attention), but I can't imagine cheating on someone and not being able to remember (where's the fun in that?!) But I should give them credit because 1) it's a fake storyline and 2) if it's true, it's blatantly a cover. Thankfully, everyone seems to do it so no one gets mad enough to break up and the incestuous world of MIC continues.
Someone once told me that a good trick for remembering something is to leave a jar on the stairs. That way, as you walk past it, it will prompt you to remember whatever the thing was.
In my case, I bounded down the stairs, completely forgetting that I had left a jar on the step until the shattered pieces of it were embedded in the soles of my feet. Not only that, but I couldn't even remember why it had been left there. I would have been much better off just leaving whatever it was I needed to take on the stairs instead.
Despite the three week notice given by DVLA, I still managed to forget to renew my tax disc. I've taken to writing a shopping list on my phone so I don't forget to pick up crucial items. Instead, I forget to check my phone.
If the timer hadnt just gone off on my phone, I would have been visiting my sister with burnt offerings since i completely forgot I was even baking a cake despite only mentioning it a few moments ago.
As I was speaking to a friend the other day, I got into a panic as I couldn't find my phone. I emptied my handbag and went out to check my car twice. I was just about to switch off the washing machine to see if I had accidentally laundered my phone (bag of rice at the ready) when my friend calmly asked me what I was calling her from. I sheepishly stated 'the landline' despite the fact that my mobile number was on her screen.
Isn't it funny (or not) that we can never seem to forget the things we would like to? And it's the things we really need to remember that often slips our minds.
On a daily basis I struggle to remember
- What day it is
- What the date is
- Where I parked my car
- Where I put my Oyster card
- Where I put my work pass
- Where I left my phone
- What year it is (which I usually only get my head around in December before the next year begins)
- To take labels/tags off my clothes
- To remove stickers from my shoes
- To respond to a message/call unless I do it immediately
- To turn my hair straighteners/iron off
- special occasions (i.e birthdays/anniversaries)
But lucky for y'all, I never forget to blog :-)