I’ve wanted to write for a while but I haven’t felt particularly inspired. My most tempting times are when I have been irritated which, due to my low tolerance threshold is almost daily but in those moments, I have refrained due to the difficulty in trying to see the comical side of the situation. Then I got to an awkward moment where it had been so long since my last blog, that I started feeling an immense pressure to create a masterpiece to make up for my absence. People will probably have stopped checking my page by now and may have forgotten how hilarious I am. So my comeback blog had to be something really grabbing and so funny that it would become viral and I would be snapped up by the head of the blogiverse and never have to work a 9-5 job again. Obviously, I then got lost in the day dream of being the world’s first billionaire blogger and was sufficiently depressed when I came back to reality and realised that I haven’t even made 1p from my blog (I am clearly not one of those people that do it for the love).
It got me thinking about how easy it is for plans to be interrupted (yes I know my interruptions are mostly self inflicted and easily avoidable but hear me out). So my life plans include being a wife and a mother and also a home owner at some point. I would also like to have a job that doesn't make me want to curl up into a foetal position and hide under my desk... Well if I'm completely honest, I don’t really want to work. This year, I have come to the realisation that I am not made for working. I am very good at it, but I do not like it. At all. My dream is to get paid to watch shows all day and buy clothes for myself. But when I looked at job sites, there is no vacancy for this kind of role! So again, my plans are interrupted. I planned to become Mrs Fassbender after the scientific evidence provided when solving a complex mathematical equation (see previous blog post) and then he went and got a girlfriend. INTERRUPTION! And I’m old school and need a ring on my finger before I pop out any miniatures so there also went my plan to become a mother. I decided to start seriously saving towards a deposit for a house and then I stumbled across a Michael Kors outlet website. Inter-fudging-ruption! Every single time I make a plan, life is like NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Like when I decided I wanted to become a fitness model and then I walked past a slice of cake (the rest is history).
The only thing more annoying than life not going according to plan is when people feel the need to point it out to you. First of all, I KNOW! Secondly, if I didn't know, you should just leave me in my blissfully ignorant little world! I have noticed that there are far too many people around who are just commentators on your life choices. I might start selling popcorn just so they can have something to snack on whilst they watch me and heckle.
Like those people who offer you the most obvious solution to a problem. So obvious that you would have to be a complete fool not to have thought of it yourself, and chances are, if you couldn't come to that conclusion yourself then you probably also wouldn’t be able to follow up with the solution. So either way it would be redundant. So these are the geniuses who, when discussing irritations at work, make the brilliant and novel suggestion ‘why don’t you get a new job?’ Shut the front door! You mean there are more jobs out there than the one I’m in?! Or maybe you think I'm sitting on a bunch of job offers but I've decided to turn them all down because I’d much rather be miserable. These are the same intelligent folk that suggest buying a house instead of renting, as if you're wiping your ass with £50 notes and just giving your money away to a landlord because you're bored. Any time someone suggests this to me now, I respond by asking them for the deposit money and I have found that housing soon becomes a seldom discussed topic.
I may not be where I thought I would be at this age (I am still trying to locate Fassbender's home address so that might soon change) but the fact that I am still here and so are you, counts for something. I can't control most of the things that happen in my life but I can try and control how I respond to them. My situation does not define me and my current circumstances will not determine my future. Some people say life is bitch, but I intend to make it my bitch.