I've always had a hatred of spiders but the last 6 months have taken me to a level I didn't know existed. The first thing I do when I wake up is put on my glasses and scour the room for spiders. On a daily basis, I find that I have at least one more room mate hidden in a corner somewhere. Once I remember that I am locked into a tenancy agreement with a 2 month notice period and therefore am unable to move out, I arm myself with bug spray and let the killing commence.
One afternoon, I let my surveillance slip and found myself at a stalemate with a spider that appeared to weigh as much as I do. The spider had positioned himself high up on the wall by the stairs. I needed to leave my house to get to the gym but this spider was intent on giving my heart it's very own workout. I stared at the spider and resigned myself to the fact that I would be housebound for life. Or at least for that spider's life. My housemate is often out so I knew she wouldn't find me for at least another 4 hours. My sister would probably raise the alarm after failing to see me at the gym but again, this wouldn't be for another few hours. I toyed with the idea of the calling the police (who wouldn't call being held hostage an emergency?) but had left my phone in my bedroom. I didn't want to risk moving in case the spider decided to do the same. There's nothing worse than going back to kill a spider and finding no trace of it. You can't eat or sleep knowing that it is out there planning it's revenge.
'Oh but they get rid of flies', yeah well so does my bug spray! Now you're probably trying to think of the possible functions of a fly. THERE ARE NONE! They literally eat poo!
My beautiful Australian friend has been trying to convince me to visit her for years now. I know that if I ever made it past border control (we've all seen nothing to declare), then I would probably meet a grisly end by one of ALL the poisonous spiders that reside in Australia. And if the poison didn't get me, then I would probably be suffocated in my sleep by the gigantic arachnoids.